Home is where the heart is....

Home is where the heart is…

Recently I was told that I couldn’t “afford” my lifestyle. This was due to a tremendous amount of unexpected dental work/oral surgery/root canal work and a plane ticket home. These unforeseen costs came to a staggering amount of money, much larger than my yearly stipend as a volunteer.

On the plane ride home I began to question my life again and what I am doing with it as it will take me years to pay this debt off. In my past life, I would have spent this amount on a one week vacation! I was a successful executive and spent money without a thought or care, very selfishly which in hindsight was both careless and selfish.

One year ago, I chose to sell all of my earthly possessions, including my furniture, clothes, art, basically everything so I could think of someone other than myself and be of service to others. I certainly admit that I did not account for unexpected emergencies in my life. I just knew in my heart that I was tired of being so self absorbed and wanted to think of someone else for a change, to give to others in a selfless manner.

All of this lead me to my wonderful, but very primitive and happy life here at the Rift Valley Children’s Village. The reality is that I don’t need much here, I have a wonderful room, a roof over my head, food in my belly and I spend what little money I have on the little luxuries of life here i.e. sodas, telephone calls to the states, wine and a monthly stay at a local guest house for some R&R. My day starts @ 6:00am and on a good day ends at 8:00p.m. and this is 6 or 7 days a week. I have hot water on good days and solar power to work by. I am writing this blog by kerosene lamplight as the solar power is down by 7 or 8 at night.

Things that were so important to me before such as blow drying my hair, makeup, nice clothes and my weekly manicure and pedicure are non existent and do not matter to me one bit. I no longer have a house I own or any material possessions, and this is incredibly liberating and freeing and has made me realize how shallow I was for so many years.

What I do have is a heart that is bursting with love for the 69 children we have here at the village, a love for the wonderful Tanzanian staff and a great appreciation for all of the selfless volunteers who pass through our doors every month. I love my three children with all of my heart, but they are now grown and living their own lives in the states. Nothing will ever replace my love for them and I will always be there for them. However they are no longer babies and do not need me like the children here do…

As I travelled home to Tanzania, I was sad and questioning my decision to move to Africa when something wonderful happened. All of my questioning was dissipated upon my arrival at the village. I had been gone for 1 month and as I stepped out of the truck, I was mobbed by a group of children all wanting hugs and kisses, welcoming me home. As I made the walk home to my room and Kirin house, all of the children, staff and volunteers were literally running out of their houses to greet me. I have never felt so wanted, loved or missed in my life! It literally took my 30 minutes to walk to my room, which is a normal 5 minute walk.

So yes, I may not have anything in the way of “things” and will have debt for the next several years, but what I do have is the knowledge that I make a difference by loving and helping these wonderful orphans. I certainly know they have helped me, when you give like this, you actually receive so much more in return, which is a great bonus. I have no idea how I will make it in my later years and frankly I really don’t care. I give my heart to these children and everyone who works here, the volunteers who help and India who has graciously taken me in and allowed me to work/volunteer here.

This is what makes life truly great, this is who I am now and this is where I belong! All I can do is love, care and give these children what they need emotionally, physically and assist with the day to day operations of the village…basically be here for anyone who needs me. As long as I am needed and can help, I will remain here, because I cannot “afford” to NOT be here!

Home is where the heart is and what I now know in my heart is that I am finally home where I belong!